3 Secrets to Get Up From “Stuck”

In 2011 I was living in what some would call a paradise.

I lived in southern Arizona at a world renowned raw food and spirituality retreat center tucked away in picturesque high desert mountains. I had access to daily yoga classes, meditation, amazing raw vegan meals and green juice for free, chlorine-free hot tubs and swimming pool, and an amazing community of like-minded people to top it off.

For some of my readers, life doesn’t get better than this.

For me, as perfect as my surroundings were, I was miserable. Even looking back now, it seems impossible to have felt so unhappy, unfulfilled, and genuinely “stuck.”

Yet, I was.

As perfect as my surroundings were, I was miserable.
I was overworking, burning myself out so much that I lost touch with myself, with others, and with what really mattered in life.

It wasn’t until I took a hard look inside, using these 3 secrets, that I finally found the peace, freedom, and confidence to move forward with my life.

You can free yourself from feeling stuck in the muck too. Here’s how:

1. Get Clear on WHAT

Often people get stuck in life because they don’t know what they truly desire. How often have you moved through life thinking you knew what you wanted only to feel empty and unfulfilled after receiving or achieving it?

Let me share a little secret with you …all desires—at the deepest level—are a desire for God.

Usually these desires are hidden under layers of need for temporary fulfillment. Chocolate, sex, financial abundance, the perfect romantic partner, a beautiful home, freedom, peace, and happiness are all layers covering an even deeper desire to feel Spirit in your own heart. This holds true for skeptics and believers alike.

To rise above the mud that has you feeling trapped in an endless cycle, get connected to that part of you deep within your own heart that desires to know who you truly are. Then shift your focus from “what do I want?” to “who is this “I” that wants?” Being brave enough to ask this question with heartfelt sincerity is the key to true freedom.


2. Find your WHY

For any change to take place, it’s important to know why this change is so important to you. Your “why” for changing must be bigger than your “why” for staying stuck.

If you are ready to take action, make a list of the reason(s) you choose to stay stuck (for example, perhaps staying stuck has the benefit of allowing you to feel safe). Next, make a list of the reason(s) you desire to change. Think of the benefits you would receive by moving through this “stuckness” into greater freedom, joy, and abundance.

Go deep into the heart of why staying stuck is currently winning over your desire to change. Need help with this part? Try meditating or get deeper clarity by working with me.

3. Let go of HOW

It is common to focus on how something is going to happen. If you had to know how everything in your life was going to happen before it happened, there would be a lot of miracles (big and small) and random acts of kindness that you would have missed out on.

Think of all the times in your life when things worked out in ways you never could have imagined (and sometimes even better than you dreamed). You don’t have to know “how” something is going to happen for things to unfold beautifully in your life. “How” is God’s problem, not yours.

Shift your focus from worrying about how it’s going to happen to growing your faith that the best outcome for you will unfold in just the right way at just the right time.

twitterYour “why” for changing must be bigger than your “why” for staying stuck.



  1. Shalvah,

    This is one of the most beautifully written, true, and meaningful blog posts I have ever read. You are spot-on, girlfriend. I will be sharing this post. It was a joy to wake up this morning to these words from you in my in-box!

    With friendship, Phebe

    1. Author

      Thank you Phebe! I’m glad you found it so inspiring. Sometimes the most honest moments in our lives, even if they seem embarrassing at the time, can offer the most inspiration to others when we share them. Thanks for sharing!

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