Let’s face it. Life is full of big decisions and tough choices. Everyday people start new jobs, quit old ones, get married, get divorced, have children, relocate, tell secrets, end relationships and start new ones.
Sometimes the decisions happen so fast there isn’t even time to evaluate if it was the “right” thing to do. On the flip side, sometimes you’re faced with a decision that seems HUGE—monumental even—and you spend day in and day out mulling over all the possible scenarios and outcomes attempting to figure out what to do.
Do you listen to your heart or your head? Do you follow your intuition? Do you do what makes the most sense? Do you do nothing at all because that’s easier? Is there a formula for all of this? Where’s the guidebook for life’s tough stuff anyway?
The decisions you make can indeed be game changers, so it’s helpful to have a bit of a handle on how to navigate them when life throws one your way.
Here are 4 questions to ask yourself when it’s decision time:
1. Who Decides?
As usual, we’re going straight to the heart of it all at lightning speed. When it comes down to it, as long as you buy into the illusion that there is a “you” separate from the whole that exists to “decide” anything, you’ve missed the point. The truth is, there is only the play of consciousness unfolding in this game we call “life.”
There is a subtle choice to allow yourself to be a conscious expression of this unfolding. When you choose to play your part consciously, you are simply agreeing to be a part of the larger flow of life rather than resisting it.
The deeper you allow yourself to let go and trust, the clearer things become.The key thing to remember is that this is really the only decision that you actually have to make: You decide to say yes to God’s plan for you (which takes faith since you don’t get to see the entire picture at the time of the decision) and the rest is grace.
2. Am I Willing to Let Go?
The only real choice you make is to surrender to what’s happening. What do I mean by surrender? I mean letting go of your idea of how things are “supposed to be” to make room for what is.
The deeper you allow yourself to let go and trust, the clearer things become.
This doesn’t mean you can sit back and let life happen “to” you. You are still responsible for your life and it helps to pay attention so you know when it’s time to take action. The message here is it’s possible to move through life gracefully while still attending to life’s most intricate details when necessary.
Eventually things become so clear that the decision and the decider disappear and what remains is simply what is happening. You just show up and continue to say “yes” to life’s sacred design as it unfolds in your life.
This takes a tremendous amount of faith, trusting that everything that happens in your life is for your personal best—even if you don’t see it that way in the moment.
3. Do I Feel More Connected?
As you evaluate the possible outcomes of your decision, a simple question I often ask myself is “will this outcome bring me closer to God?” You are never separate from God.
However, you can temporarily feel more or less connected to Spirit through the perspectives and experiences you choose. When you choose experiences that bring you a deeper sense of peace, love, joy, and connection, then there is no “wrong” decision.
On the other hand, if the choice you make brings an outcome of feeling disconnected, out of integrity, or unhappy, then you have been given the gift of seeing first-hand how your decisions can affect your relationship with Spirit and with your world. If you discover you made a decision that has you feeling disconnected or unhappy, then make a change!
4. Am I Listening?
Now do you want in on my not-so-dirty little secret on decision-making? Meditate. You have all the answers within. Not everyone likes hearing that, yet it’s true. If you are truly faced with a decision that doesn’t have a clear direction, then meditate until it becomes clear.
Decisions are as clear and easy as you allow them to be. If you truly seek an answer, then get quiet enough to hear what’s been there all along.
Sum & Substance:
- Decisions are as clear and easy as you allow them to be.
- The only real choice you make is to surrender to what’s happening.
- Ask yourself, “will this outcome help me feel more connected to God?”
- If you truly seek an answer, then ask for it, meditate, and listen.
- The answer has always been there.